Can we truly be our authentic selves?
Whether at work or in social settings, more humans are bent on being their authentic selves. This has caused some challenges and problems for them and their fellow humans. This made me wonder, can we truly be our authentic selves? I argue that we can- if we don’t mind giving up some of our wants and desires and not being afraid of experiencing some discomfort. I also suggest that we do a lot of work for ourselves and others.
We can be our authentic selves if…
We examine closely what it means to be authentic. Think about who you are when no one is watching. Is that what being authentic means to you? Who are you when you are with your closest friends? These are fellow humans who are in your innermost circle. They know who you are in your best and worst moments. Is this what being authentic means to you? Do you want to bring this version of you into the workplace? In all interactions with fellow humans?
We are committed to allowing others to be their authentic selves. Of course, your conscious mind tells you to say you are 100% supportive of others being their authentic selves. It is easy to judge ourselves based on our conscious thoughts and actions. However, the research on unconscious bias suggests otherwise. We know that our unconscious bias takes over, especially when we feel fear, pain, or general discomfort of the unknown.
We are committed to making our collective well-being a top priority. This sounds incredibly honourable and selfless. Sadly, as a species, we have a long way to go before we can harness this collective commitment to each other. The good news is we are building critical mass awareness of the needs, wants, and desires of others. Collectively, as humans, we are beginning to see past our noses. We have started to see other beings who, just like us, want nothing more than to be their authentic selves. This requires a lot of work on our part. No one escapes doing this work!
Actions to be as authentic as possible:
1. Cultivate a mindset that sees the whole view. This means each person must learn about themselves while learning about fellow humans they would typically not have any interaction with.
2. Keep talking about messy topics. Yes, some people interpret your and my desire to be authentic as messy topics. Use what you learned about yourself and fellow humans to keep talking mindfully with each other.
3. Embrace the reality of what is. Our need to be authentic will be impacted by the reality of where you are, with whom you want to be authentic and the overall support available. Not everyone is ‘there’ yet. You will experience resistance. Be realistic about what you are working towards. Do this work in a way that attracts others to join and work alongside you.
4. Accept that we only experience pain and hurt when our thoughts, beliefs, biases, prejudices and general perceptions are destructive to us and others.
5. Accept that to remove pain and hurt, we must create thoughts, beliefs, and general perceptions that are constructive to our well-being and those of others.
Practising these five actions will take us closer to a state of collective authenticity.